Pamela Haddock
Watercolor Artist
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Painting anyway - finding a new comfort zone.

8/4/2013

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It has been a little over a year since I dug my brayer out of a drawer and began "rolling" paint onto different surfaces.  I tried hot press paper and various types of illustration board and bristol board until I found the paper I currently use.    

The reaction I am getting?  "I have never seen anything like this!" And thankfully sales are following.   You won't have to wait in line if you would like to own one, but the momentum is picking up.

Every artist would love to hit on the ONE technique, subject or genre that would allow them to paint with abandon - absorbed in their process while the paintings fly off the walls.  That way they could support their habit in style.  Let me know who is accomplishing that fete.

It is scary to change things about your style or technique.  I found that out early in my painting experience.  People who had purchased some of my early work stood arms crossed, head cocked looking at the work that was developing.

Without a smile they voiced, "I liked your old stuff better."  

They might as well have kicked me in the shins.  It planted a seed of self doubt that made me go to my studio and hover over my work instead of diving in.  But then I looked at my old work as compared to my new with as detached an attitude as I could muster.

The older work was just fine- this being my first attempts at wet on wet painting on cold press paper.  The newer works were more confident.  The newer works were getting to where I wanted to be.  I was not going back.   The nay-sayers were not the voice I was going to listen to.

Again, taking on a new technique - I have people referring to my wet-on-wet paintings as my "old" work though I am continuing to practice the style I have worked in for twenty-five years too.  I haven't put my big brushes down or abandoned 140lb cold press Winsor-Newton paper!   It is such a comforting place to be.  The new style makes me a bit nervous sometimes and the wet-on-wet is like a meditation.  

The problem is, I am just stubborn enough that if you tell me you want me to change - I will dig in my heels and if you tell me I should stay where I am - I will have my bags packed this afternoon.    I have to see what this stuff called watercolor will do, I like it that much.   So if you like my "old stuff" better - there will be plenty more where that came from, and if you like my "new stuff" - thanks.  I do too.  







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August 3, 2012

8/3/2012

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It is scary sometimes to break out of old habits.  I have painted on illustration board before.  I like the plate surface.  I like how it lifts and the way the paint feels as if you are skating on the surface.   
I watched artist Kate Worm paint using brayers with watercolor and gouache and became intrigued with the idea of how it might work on a plate surface.  Kate does beautiful figures using the brayer to establish shapes and continues in pastel on print making paper.  
The geometric shapes the brayer created along with the lift it produced when the surface had been sprayed lightly really pleased me.  Here are some of the results of my preliminary attempts.  
It is a change of direction, but then life is like that.
 

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The Process

6/12/2012

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I packed a fan to have in my room for camp.  It was not necessary.  In fact I wish I had packed a small heater.   The temperature made it to around 70 degrees one day.  The nights were cold usually in the 40's. You never know what the weather will be when you get to camp.
The campers were however, just as I remembered.  Some folks who had attended in the past were not present and a few new people came for the first time.  
I did not paint as much as I have in years past.  I did some drawings and took some walks.  My friend who accompanied me fit in nicely with the artists there.  She and I took a couple of field trips out to take some reference photos.   
I realized somewhere during the week that this was more a test of my ability to endure.   Not that there was anything per se to endure except my own inner turmoil.
The paintings I did create felt good.   I was able to loose myself for a while and be in the process.
Process is good.  Life is a process.   
The process of creating art should be enjoyed if possible.  Since as in life there is no guaranteed outcome you learn  to find joy in the moment.  The movement of the loaded brush on wet paper feels good.   The lights and darks whisper to lead you through the scene.   
June is a tough month for our family now.  We are working through the process.   My paint and paper is patient.  It is a safe place to be.

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Art Escape

5/31/2012

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I am escaping for a week beginning June 3rd.  For the past few years I have run away to a camp to paint for a week.  A friend of mine took me there a number of years ago and I have tried to go every year ever since. The cabins are camp cabins and the food is camp food but the location is beautiful, the company easy and the encouragement irreplaceable.   
I set goals for myself when I am there.  I think of it as a marathon at times painting as much as I possibly can before I have to return to the real world.   
This year will be more of a challenge.  
Many who know me personally know that we lost our son, Josh a year ago July 2nd.  I have written  a blog on Wordpress all year concerning how difficult it has been to deal with the loss of our son.  The woman who started this art camp lost a daughter almost 2 years ago right after camp.   When I saw her last year I was not sure what to say or how she would react.  Little did I know a month later we would suffer our own devastating loss.  She was one of the first people I thought of when I started coming  out of the fog after my son died.
I am giving myself permission to let the week at camp take its own course.  I hope to paint as much as I feel like painting.  I am going partly because my son would say that I would be crazy not to go.   
Emotional obstacles can block our ability to create sometimes. My advice is to take it slow. Take it one day at a time.   The creative process can also be healing.  It is a safe way to explore emotions or to even loose yourself and take a mental break.   
If there are any paintings worth posting I'll post when I get back.  Until then.  Paint on.

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Workshop nerves

5/25/2012

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It is tough to work under pressure for most people.  In this picture I am working on a painting for fund raiser they hold in Haywood County called "Quick Draw".  It has caught on in many forms all over the country.  In this event the artist has one hour to complete a painting from start to finish and for me that includes getting the thing dry.
Then we have 15 minutes to mat, frame and put it on an easel. Then it goes to auction.  I love the energy of the event.  It kind of revs me up.   
I find the workshops I teach do that too.  I am energized by the other artists and seeing (hopefully) the ah-ha moments happen.  On the other hand when attending a workshop I rarely do my best work.  
Perhaps it is wanting to please the instructor.  Perhaps it is because I want to prove myself.  Perhaps it is because my expectations are just too high and the skills I am trying to master are potentially mine to master, eventually, but it will just take more practice.   For whatever reason, I never walk away from a workshop with anything that I would be very proud to display.
I will be teaching a workshop in August.  I will predict that some of the people entering the room will carry with them some of the same expectations I listed above.   Some of them may even feel nervous and are tempted to "look over their shoulder" at what everyone else is doing to see if they measure up.  
I wish everyone could just have their own private space so that they could relax and let go of some of the self-imposed pressure.   So breath deep.  It is just paper, paint and water.  Everyone is worrying about their own stuff so don't become self-conscious.  If you come out with a great work of art we will all admire and pet you.  If you don't you will probably be in good company.   Leave the nerves at the door.

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When the Mood Hits

5/20/2012

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I have to make myself paint sometimes.  I even have to make myself draw and I really like to  draw.  If you are like me you find there are times when you cannot wait to get to the easel, and times when you can find any excuse not to go there.
It seems like the tide at times.  Washing in with all sorts of creativity and washing out to leave you wrung out and feeling impotent.  It emulates life.   
Working a job that requires you to clock in keeps you on schedule.  Working as an artist in your own studio needs to be that way too.  Even if you have waited to retire from public work  to take on this new job you need to put your time in with the paper.
Is every drawing and painting going to be wonderful?  Perhaps, but it has not been in my experience.   Every drawing and painting has, however been a learning experience.  No paper or paint is wasted when you have drawn or painted something. Even it only shows you what you do not want to do next time.  You will learn something.   So go sharpen your pencil.  Wash your brushes.  Put out some fresh paint and put in an hour or two.   You can't sit and wait for that fickle mood to hit!
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    Pamela Haddock

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